Making Room for Painful Emotions

Emotional pain is part of being human. If we feel positive emotions, we will feel negative emotions. That’s just how it works. We can’t avoid pain. Patients come to me for help with all kinds of pain: fear, sadness, shame, loneliness, self-loathing, overwhelming stress. The typical request, of course, is to help them get rid of the pain. People generally don’t love hearing that I can’t get rid of it, but I can help them change how they experience it. Almost no one wants to hear me say, “Hey, let’s try making room for that pain.” I get it. It

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think

This is one of those truths I wish I had been taught as a kid. As we know, our brains churn out thousands of thoughts, all day long. What I didn’t know as a kid is that not all of these thoughts are true, relevant, or helpful. The brain’s job is to spit out thoughts based on all kinds of random and non-random input. Our job is to figure out which thoughts to pay attention to. I did not know, growing up, that it was my job to be smarter than my brain. It took me quite a ways into

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