My exciting announcement, grounding, and managing the holidays
Suzanne Manser, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

 

Are you ready??

 

I’ve written a book and a guided journal, and they will be available soon!!!

I am SO FREAKING EXCITED to share them with you!! I’ve been working on this personal transformation memoir for three years. It started as a psychological deep dive of my difficult relationship with my mom, and it turned into so much more. It became a love letter to my mom, to me, and to you. It is a guidebook for anyone healing from their own mother wound.

 

I wrote a guided journal to pick up where the memoir leaves off, for anyone who wants to more deeply explore their own lineages of pain, end them, and move on to a juicy life.

 

Next month, I will send out information on how and where to order both books. I’ll also include a chapter from the memoir exclusively for you amazing folks on my mailing list.

 

More information about each book can be found on my website!

 

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I Hate You: A Love Letter to My Mother
Healing Paper Cuts, Mother Wounds, and Intergenerational Pain

 

Through the dual lenses of the child who lived it and the therapist healing from it, this intimate memoir traces the devastating impact of intergenerational trauma, ultimately showing us how to transcend our own lineages and transform our lives.

 

Suzanne spent most of her life hating her mother and trying not to. When her mom died, she expected to feel relief. Instead, she was flooded with grief for the mom she never had. As she journaled her pain, Suzanne discovered the brute— and brutal—power of the mother wound. She uncovered her mother’s hidden inner fortress, built to protect her mom from her own childhood, and she finally understood why she had never been enough.

 

Suzanne's story bears witness to the children who were disregarded and had to be their parents’ emotional caretakers. Her experience-based description of the mother wound validates not only her pain, but ours. The psychological wisdom she weaves throughout her story shows us how our parents wound us, how those wounds shape us, and how we can make different choices. This is so much more than a memoir – it’s a guidebook to becoming an active creator in your life, living with less pain and much, much more fulfillment.

 

***

I Hate You: A Love Letter to My Mother
A Journal for Healing Your Mother Wound and Transforming Your Life

 

Suzanne created this supportive, structured space for anyone who, like her, has been deeply hurt by their parent and is ready to gain powerful insight and heal.

 

Suzanne skillfully leads you through a psychological examination of your childhood relationship with your parents. Through a series of thought-provoking prompts and questions, you will learn how your parents’ attempts to protect themselves became their method of wounding you, and you will see how those wounds impacted who you became. Suzanne also teaches you how to use six personal transformation tools that have made a profound difference in her own ongoing healing and growth.

Tool of the Day: 

Grounding

 

If you are a person who, like me, often finds that they are completely focused on some future bad event or some past bad event, grounding is a useful tool to have in your back pocket.

 

“Grounding” simply means to be rooted in the present moment, to have your full attention completely in the present. Being grounded in the present means you are connected to what is, rather than what was or what could be. The present is where we have any control. It’s where our power resides.

 

When we’re stuck in the past or the future, we’re not living in the present. That seems obvious, but it bears pointing out. We can’t be effective in our current lives if our attention is in the past or the future. We miss out on a lot when we’re not present.

 

One of the easiest ways to ground yourself is to put your attention on your body or your senses. Your body is always in the present. The expression, “Be where your feet are.” is about being present.

 

3 Grounding Strategies

 

The “54321” technique:

Notice 5 things you can see.

Notice 4 things you can feel.

Notice 3 things you can hear.

Notice 2 things you can smell.

Notice 1 thing you can taste.

 

You can also ground yourself by sucking on a sour candy, smelling a strong smell, listening to the loudest sound you can hear and then the quietest sound you can hear, noticing how each part of the bottoms of your feet feel when you stand, or noticing all of the red things you can see.

 

Doing a challenging yoga pose or hopping on one leg are also grounding – it’s hard not to be present when you have to pay attention to your body in that way.

 

The next time you find your attention unhelpfully stuck in the past or future, try a grounding technique. Keep repeating them as necessary. Notice that your power is in the present.

Eating Disorders Corner

“Food is not the enemy. Self-hate is.”
— TheLoveYourselfChallenge

 This corner is devoted to addressing eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image. I have specialized in treating people with all of the above since 1999. It is a large part of my work and my heart. This corner is for those of us on the journey of disconnecting our worth from our size or what we eat.

Bodies and the Holidays

 

The holidays are upon us, and for lots of us, that means worrying about gaining weight. If you have read anything I’ve written about body image or body size, you know where I stand on that.

 

The more you worry about gaining weight, the more you will focus on your body and what you’re eating. The more you focus on your body and what you’re eating, the more you are telling your brain that these things are really important. As a result, your brain will tell you that these things are really important and will make sure you continue to focus on them.

 

The problems with this approach are many. First of all, the meaning and energy we put onto and into our bodies is life-sucking and entirely not helpful.

 

Secondly, the more focus you put onto food and your body, the less focus you will have to put onto the parts of your day and your life that are actually meaningful or would bring you joy.

 

We don’t actually value smaller bodies; we value acceptance, and we are trying to get it via our body size. Focusing on our wish for acceptance is what is going to get you where you want to go, not focusing on your body.

 

During holiday gatherings, focus on the meaning of the event. What is meaningful about you being there? What are the important parts of this gathering, and how can you engage with them?

 

Enjoy your holidays!

 

Latest Blog Posts

vol. 3, issue 3

My intent with each issue of this newsletter is to bring more ease, self-acceptance, meaning, and fulfillment into our lives.

 

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Newsletters and other notifications are coming from suzanne@suzannemanserphd.com. Please add me to your safe senders list.

 

Disclaimer: This newsletter is not therapy and is not intended as a substitute for therapy.

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