De-fuse from sticky thoughts. Find a better way to relate to your body.
Suzanne Manser, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

Tool of the Day: 

Cognitive Defusion

Cognitive defusion is an extremely effective tool for managing unhelpful thoughts.


When we’re stuck on an unhelpful thought, we are fused with it. Imagine putting your hand over your face, so that you can’t see anything but your hand. If you can de-fuse from your hand – pull it back so it’s a foot in front of your face – your hand is no longer the only thing you can see.


It’s the same with thoughts. When we get stuck in a thought, it’s all we can “see.” We can’t get distance from it to be able to see the other thoughts that are trying to get our attention. We can’t switch our focus.


To de-fuse from our thoughts, we have to get some distance from them and see them as just thoughts. We have to remind ourselves that they are not truths. We have to remind ourselves that we have thousands of thoughts a day and this one is not the be-all-end-all just because it’s sticky.


There are many defusion techniques. Here are 5 to get you started:


1. Say the thought out loud in a silly voice 5 times or sing it to the tune of “Happy Birthday.”

(This helps it lose its power.)


2. Say this: “I am having the thought that ______________. I notice I’m having the thought that ____________.”

(This gives you one or two degrees of separation from the thought.)


3. Write the thought down. Then write three things you are grateful for.

(This provides the sticky thought a place to go and moves your focus to something specific.)


4. Thank your brain for producing this thought and then decide whether to put it in your mental Inbox or Spam folder.

Imagine putting this thought in the correct folder, and then move on to doing that with the next thought that shows up.

(This reminds you that you are in charge of attributing worth to thoughts.)


5. Imagine watching your thoughts float by like leaves on a stream.

Practice not picking up any one leaf/thought. Practice letting it float on by and then looking for the next leaf/thought, and the next.

(This helps you learn how not to fuse with the thought in the first place.)

  Worth Checking Out 


I am loving these Instagram accounts!


Mel Robbins @melrobbins

(also check out her podcast)


Brad Stulburg @bradstulburg


Maya @goodbyejournals


Armen Adamjan @creative_explained

Eating Disorders Corner

“Food is not the enemy. Self-hate is.”
— TheLoveYourselfChallenge

 This corner is devoted to addressing eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image. I have specialized in treating people with all of the above since 1999. It is a large part of my work and my heart. This corner is for those of us on the journey of disconnecting our worth from our size or what we eat.

This ED Corner is all about resources. There are SO MANY great books and podcasts and substacks, many of which are based on the facts of weight and body science. Here are a few:



Body Neutral: A revolutionary guide to overcoming body image issues (Jessi Kneeland)


The Body Liberation Project: How understanding racism diet culture helps cultivate joy and build collective freedom (Chrissy King)


“You Just Need to Lose Weight” and 19 Other Myths about Fat People (Aubrey Gordon)


Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture (Virginia Sole-Smith)


Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating (Christy Harrison)



ED Matters (Kathy Cortese)


The Recovery Warrior Shows (Jessica Flint)


Food Psych (Christy Harrison)


Maintenance Phase (Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes)


What the Actual Fork (Sam Previte and Jenna Werner)


Food Heaven (Wendy Lopez and Jessica Jones)


Body Kindness (Rebecca Scritchfield)


This Is Not About Your Body (Jessi Kneeland)



Burnt Toast – Virginia Sole-Smith


Weight and Healthcare – Ragen Chastain


Rethinking Wellness – Christy Harrison

Some News....


Last winter, I joined a virtual collective of healing professionals that I am really excited about! We are a group of practitioners who offer a wide range of help and deep support - therapists, coaches, physicians, energy healers, meditation guides, yoga teachers, self-defense teachers, ayurvedic practitioners, and more.


Check out and keep an eye on that space. We will be offering more programs and workshops for all kinds of growth and healing!



Latest Blog Posts

vol. 3, issue 1

My intent with each issue of this newsletter is to bring more ease, self-acceptance, meaning, and fulfillment into our lives.


For more frequent tips, join me on Instagram (@drsuzannemanser)


Newsletters and other notifications are coming from Please add me to your safe senders list.


Disclaimer: This newsletter is not therapy and is not intended as a substitute for therapy.

Unsubscribe   |   View online